All we have to decide

Something different -- My reading lists- Contemporary Urban Fantasy

2010-02-22T15:19:00.008-06:00

So I finally found a label to slap on the narrow band of fiction that I’m currently reading…Contemporary Urban Fantasy. I figured that there had to be a better way to define it other than saying “the morality plays of paranormal beings struggling with the concepts of good and evil created by our contemporary world.” What set me on the path to label this brand of writing was the Half Price Book Store’s current shelving of Kelley Armstrong and many of my other favorites in the paranormal romance section.

Initially, my anger hinged on suspicion that they’re there because the authors are women. However, after reading literary reviews and comparing works, what I’ve found isn’t necessarily a condescending attitude toward women authors (although that may be part of it), but rather just a misunderstanding of the urban fantasy genre and how it digs into contemporary society’s moral choices through science fiction vehicles that usually feature strong women. Readers and booksellers see the strong female lead on the cover and read the bedroom scenes and think romance, instead of thinking about overall story being told.

What led me to this conclusion is that recently I’ve started reading Neil Gaiman’s works, both Graphic Novels and books such as American Gods. I especially like his strong female characterization of Death and her odysseys through the lives of people who have lost meaning in their earthly existence. The world view themes in Gaiman’s stories like Sandman, The Graveyard Book and Fragile Things seems very akin to Kelly Armstrong’s Women of the Otherworld, Laurell K Hamilton’s books, and other authors works currently being thrown in the paranormal romance section. Gaiman’s Death is a very similar character to many of the female players in other books I’ve been reading by Laurell K. Hamilton, Armstrong, Rachel Caine, and Charlaine Harris. Jim Butcher’s Wizard in the Dreden Files could easily be switched into a female character who would then be Anita Blake’s doppelganger. And even some of the male protagonists in John Ringo and David Drake books could become strong female leads whose stories maintain a boon of sex scenes while fighting good and evil in our world. All of these other authors are in the science fiction section.

Bringing me to my first conclusion: sex alone doesn’t make the difference in how this genre of book is categorized. Gaiman, Jim Butcher and other male authors have sex in their books, yet they aren’t shelved in the paranormal romance section. I’ll admit that some of the authors that are in the paranormal romance section, such as Hamilton, can write quite the titillating sex scene. Quite possibly their talent at describing physical sex and sexual tension is why bookstores and customers look for their works in a sub-genre of romance. However, just like most TV shows and films sex is only a story teller’s tool for exploring themes about the bigger human condition. Sadly, just as Gaiman’s Sandman, Alan Moore’s The Watchmen, or Bill Willingham’s Fables, are fated to always being shelved in Graphic Novels next to the Comic Books, I fear authors whose main characters are women with secure identities (including sexual self-awareness) will be shelved in paranormal romance.

The truth however, is that all of these authors are part of the Contemporary Urban Fantasy genre. It encompasses Neil Gaiman, Kelly Armstrong and Laurell K Hamilton. Nanette Wargo Donohue wrote a good analysis of this genre at Library Journal.com, entitled, Collection Development “Urban Fantasy": The City Fantastic, 6/1/2008. Wargo states that Urban fantasy as we know it began in the 1980s and 1990s. Charles de Lint and Terri Windling defined this genre in their works Newford, Dreams Underfoot, and Borderlands respectively. Wargo says, “These works introduced readers to the possibility of supernatural, fantastic beings in modern settings, and other authors who contributed to the development of what is now identified as “traditional urban fantasy” included Emma Bull, Neil Gaiman, and Mercedes Lackey….The branch of urban fantasy currently skyrocketing in popularity is “contemporary urban fantasy,” which plays on themes drawn from popular culture, including horror movies, TV shows like cult classic Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and lore about such paranormal creatures as vampires and werewolves. This is what your patrons are looking for when they request “urban fantasy.” Common characteristics include tough female protagonists (often with supernatural powers or superhuman strength), stronger distinctions between good and evil, grittier urban landscapes, first-person narration, and sexual tension, often between the female protagonist and a male character who toes the line between good and evil. A pioneer in this subgenre is Laurell K. Hamilton, whose “Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter” novels were among the first to play on these themes.” The rest of Wargo’s article is found at http://www.libraryjournal.com/article/CA6561372.html. Wargo’s article breaks the genre into Traditional and Contemporary Urban Fantasy and is an interesting discussion.

Wargo points in the direction of Locus magazine and Diana Tixier Herald's literary analysis to understand more about urban fantasy. Locus seems to me to be more about general sci fi and not getting to the heart of looking at just urban fantasy and why my favorite authors are in the paranormal romance section.

Herald’s work (Fluent in Fantasy: The Next Generation and Genreflecting Advisory Series) on the other hand, gets right to the heart of my discussion. She evens pulls in the teen urban fantasies like Harry Potter, who have found a place on my reading list with teen focused novels from Kelley Armstrong and Rachel Caine. Herald’s books discuss how genres bring reading groups together to discuss specific topics in society. Just as the adult genre, the teen urban fantasy genre supplies a common vehicle for teens to understand their world by freeing minds from preconceived notions of what is not possible. As all of the contemporary urban fantasies do, these young adult books examine how people make moral choices as they struggle to understand our technologically advanced and spiritually stunted society.

Just as any fantasy and urban graphic novel will always be found in the comic books, and strong female leads with paranormal abilities will be in the paranormal romance shelves, these urban fantasy books with young lead characters will be in the young adult section.

For now readers will have to search each bookstore section to gather the contemporary urban fantasy books into one collection. However, they’ll be rewarded by fun science fiction books that provide an interesting examination of our urban society and relationships as they are projected onto a fantasy tapestry.

It seems to me in the final analysis however, that there’s no reason for any of the contemporary urban fantasies discussed I’ve discuss in this rant not to be shelved within the larger genre of science fiction. It seems that publishers and booksellers default to the cover art and printing style of the book rather than really categorizing the book by its true genre. This policy may sell more books, but it does a disservice to the genre and the authors.

Nascar and the Fan Walk.

2009-10-12T22:03:00.000-05:00

We went to the Speedway on October 4th for the Sprint Cup Challenge and did the Fan Walk. Call it a Fan Marathon. The Kansas Speedway lets fans walk under the track to visit the crew areas in the center of the raceway. My husband and I got the fanwalk tickets with our Sprint Challenge Cup tickets. He won the Nascar tickets through a raffle at his work. Great seats, fourth turn. For those of you who don't know what that means, the fourth turn is where the cars go from Pace Car speed to RACE speed. Intense.

Video Below.

When my husband won the tickets, we decided it was a once in lifetime thing because we would never spend that much money for tickets. Pricey little tickets they are.

The speedway is a local great tourist attraction and we were really excited about going to see what Nascar is all about. We buffed up on race facts and watched the Nascar 101 videos on Nascar's website and packed our lunch for the 12 hour day. Yea, we're that cheap.

What we didn't know was the amount of walking involved. Holy Moly. From our car to the Stadium, then you tour all these booths collecting cool trinkets for FREE. So of course, we had to go to each one.

And then the fan walk --

(around the stadium from our seats, down five flights of steps, through a tunnel, up several flights of steps, walk around the cars and drivers, then down several flights of steps, through the tunnel, UP five flights of steps, and around the stadium back to our seats). Totally worth it.

Watching them test the cars to see if they meet specs before the race. Watching all the highly involved fans. A completely different sub-culture in our backyard that we never witnessed before.

Many sore muscles and much sunburn later, we have lots of fun memories. So glad I've been losing weight or I NEVER could have done it.

It was FUN! Another thing that losing weight has helped me be able to do.

These videos are taken from our seats. Zoom Zoom.

And the winner was Number 14, Tony Stewart. Here's the final line-up on the tower. Jeff Gordon was second and Greg Biffle was third. All three turned in a great competition to the finish line.

Long Weekend is Over

2009-10-12T21:18:00.002-05:00

Ah Columbus Day. Another Federal Holiday come and gone. I worked long hours (10-14 hour days) at the end of the Fiscal Year (September 30), so I really looked forward to the Columbus Day weekend to recoup. This year I'm especially happy because I'm using the time to get ready for my vacation to Europe. I haven't had a multi-week, honest to goodness, not checking in to work, not dropping by the office, vacation since before my cancer surgery in 2007. Bill and I have had long weekend or 4 day trips, but that's been the biggest breaks.

I've been getting ready with packing lists and by getting in shape. Not as far along as I'd like, but it's OK. Been walking and eating a little better,but I've lost ground that I won in a hard fought battle in August. How?

During the end of the fiscal year in September, I worked such long hours that I didn't eat right. An old habit that I just hadn't broken or figured a way around came back to haunt me. I nibble when I work, especially data-entry type work. Baggies of carrots and celery didn't help. Added to my lack of will power, the branch where I'm rotating has a full-food support policy during the last week of the fiscal year. It's a way to show support to co-workers who are so busy that they can't leave their areas for lunch and then have to stay late and miss dinner. Give em food. Lots of food. I so appreciated the team spirit and goodness from which this tradition was offered that I partook of it a bit too much. Read that as I pigged-out without any thought of points. Seriously, it's the first time since I started WW that I didn't even count points. Yikes.

I guess that I should be glad that I didn't gain so much of my weight back that I'm sick. It was kind of scary how fast weight piles back when I returned to my old eating habits. In two weeks, I gained 15 pounds. 15! Whoa. Now if I lost 15 pounds in two weeks, people would say that's not healthy. You can better believe that gaining it in that short of period isn't healthy either.

It was probably a good experience to see what falling off the diet completely would do to me. Sure didn't want to learn it right now though. Of course, when does anyone want to learn hard lessons?

I'm back on the points plan and trying to do good. One thing that really gave me encouragement was a particular co-worker. She said that I was an inspiration to her and she started eating this breakfast roll-up thingy that I "invented." I was really stunned that my actions could impact someone so much. It really humbled me to think that she was trying to be like me, when I was busy ruining the progress that I'd made. Gee, my brain just can't figure any of that out. However, between her faith and another friend's direct encouragement to exercise, I'm pulling myself back in line with a healthy eating plan and exercise.

October is here. My diet is doing better and I'm walking again. The scale is actually going back down again. I'm down to 90 pounds lost again, but sadly I don't think that I'll make the big "100 Pounds Lost" before my plane lifts off the runway headed for Holland at the end of October.

However, I don't want to diet so extremely that it slides back on the instant I take one bite of Belgium Chocolate. Europe has so many wonderful tastes to offer in addition the architecture, history, culture and people. I plan to enjoy it all.

Moderation in all things, right?

Admission: Exercise and Healthy Food is a Requirement for Losing Weight --Even on Weight Watchers

2009-09-12T14:46:00.010-05:00

Two weeks ago, the scale at the meeting was way off from my home scale. I had stuck to my points and exercised everyday for two weeks before that weigh-in. The meeting scale actually said that I'd gained two pounds. I ran home and weighed myself again and it was the same as before the meeting (2 pounds down). For quite a while my husband and I both have felt that one of the scales at my meeting site was off, but being long time members we found it difficult to blame the scale without proof. To me, this was the final proof. I didn't weigh for a week, and today, two weeks later, I weighed in on a different scale. Yup, it matched my home scale exactly. 97 pounds lost and weighed-in at 214. (I always round the number to the closet whole number.) Yet still I was irritated that I wasn't seeing more progress for adding intense exercise back into my daily routine.

For over six months I've been losing and gaining the same five pounds that left me fluctuating in the 220s. In anticipation of a trip to Europe that will include lots of steps and tight quarters, I decided to really be honest with myself and try to figure out what I was doing wrong. Bottom line? Too many 2 point carbs. Weight watcher treats, ice cream, processed food, desserts. Never going over my total allotted points, but my metabolism was hijacked by the carbs. In four weeks I've dropped 8 pounds, more than I've lost in six months (consistently) because I finally admitted to myself that I'd strayed from my original WW plan and was 2 pointing myself to death. For two weeks, I’ve eaten a low carb and sensible WW diet within my points. Note that WW sweets are bad, but must be moderated. I am also back on the exercise band wagon.

I feel strong again and back in control. Hopefully next week will be the BIG 100 pounds lost mark. I can't wait for the washer, for the thrill, and to know that my journey is past the half way mark and I'm lower in weight than I've been in ten years. There's just something about hitting 100 pounds down that can't be underestimated. It's a number everyone understands. It's weird how 90 pounds, just isn't the same. I'll still have 70 pounds to lose to get to my goal, but that feels so much more doable than it used to. It used to seem so silly to be this really obese person and say that my goal is to lose 180 pounds. People just kind of nodded their heads. However, now I can say that I've come so far and I can go the rest of the way.

It will be tough and get tougher. I'm not an idiot. All around me at meetings, people have such a tough time going from 150 to 120 pounds. I realize that the lower the weight, the more difficult the challenge. Heck, that's why I was stuck in the 220s so long, it was much easier to lose weight closer to 300 pounds. When you weigh 310, you can walk to the refrigerator and earn points. Now walking on the treadmill for 20 minutes only gets me a point. Erck. So I walk longer and pick up the speed. I use the Nike trainer on my iphone. Last night I carried two five pound weights on my walk. If I have to do all this now to lose weight, it will be a hella challenge at 150 pounds, but I can't wait to do it.

2009-08-10T23:05:00.001-05:00

Test blog post

Relay for Life this Friday

2009-07-12T14:27:00.005-05:00

This Friday (July 17th) is my third Relay for Life walk as a Survivor. If you'd like to donate, please go to http://main.acsevents.org/goto/DebbyWhite

I've lost 85lbs and gained an entirely new person since my Adenosarcoma diagnosis. I take nothing about life for granted anymore. It's too bad that we have to survive a battle with a killing illness to appreciate what we had all along. I was lucky. My cancer was discovered early and treated with surgery and radiation. Too many people don't find their cancer until it's too far along, or they're diagnosed with a cancer that can't be treated. The American Cancer Society (ACS) raises money to fight cancer through events like Relay for Life.

I'm not pushing anyone to donate, but if you'd like to help in the fight against Cancer this is an organization that really does help. Not only do they fund research, but I found comfort in counseling, medical information and financial advice through ACS when I was first diagnosed. It was a scary time, made worse by having a rare and usually fatal type of sarcoma of the uterus. I know first hand that they really do what they say they do.

Ups and Downs

2009-05-17T09:25:00.004-05:00

We went to a Royals game Friday and it was great. The steps were no problem. No struggling to fit in the seat, no fighting to climb the steps. Losing 85 lbs was the best thing I've ever done. My life is so my better. Visited my family's graves last week and walking around the cemetary was no big deal. I thought about them, not about my inability to visit all of their graves. All this success is what has me captured at this plateau. I need to see all of the things that I still can't do because I still need to lose one hundred pounds. I realize this plateau is of my own making. To know the problem isn't to neccessarily conquer it.

2009-05-07T22:04:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was my lowest weigh-in, 225lbs. I'm trying mobile posting to improve my reporting. Let's see....

85 Pounds down in 11 months.

2009-02-22T22:16:00.003-06:00

This was a fast weekend. Last week I missed several days of work because of a flu bug. The only good thing about being sick is that it helps me lose just a little more weight. Lost 3 pounds this week, so my total loss is 85 lbs. I'm still hoping to push that up as much as possible by March 19 which is my one year WW anniversary.
Come Monday morning I'm sure I'll be feeling better and back to work and back to dieting (eating that is). Weird how that works: Eat more, lose more. WW is truly a miracle program.
Of course, I'd rather be healthy and outside enjoying the sunshine while earning activity points. This week is supposed to be warmer.......let's all hope winter ends soon.

82 lbs down at almost a year on Weight Watchers

2009-02-16T11:17:00.005-06:00

I'm really hoping to make 100 lbs loss by my one year Anniversary on Weight Watchers, but I don't think that going to happen. I'd rather lose wisely than fast. However, I've done pretty good. Here's a pic at a year ago compared to this year.

The difference is obvious, even to me. That's been the irony. I don't really see the weight loss , but I do see the smaller sized clothes and how much better I fit in to the world around me. Most chairs are comfortable to me now. I don't have to evaluate whether a chair will hold me before I sit in it. My butt fits down into the car seat and I can easily rest my arms on the arm rests. I fit in most airplane seats. I'm a pear, a huge pear, so my bottom is three sizes bigger than my top. This is most annoying, but I'm happy to finally have a shape again instead of being a blob. I can't wait to see where I'll be this time next year.

80 Pounds Lost Forever!

2009-01-18T09:47:00.005-06:00

And I'm never going to look for those pounds again. Finally 80 pounds are gone. Gosh, the weight loss has been so slow. I know I need to start exercise regularly again. I've just got to do it. But, it's so tough. Anyway, this is a long weekend for me and I have two new cats. I spent all day yesterday trying to be really quiet so they could get used to the new house. Today, I'm unfolding the treadmill and the cats will have to get used to whirling motor and belt.

My friend at work is my exercise buddy and she is cheerleading us to use the treadmill everyday...but it's only been a couple of days a week for the last two weeks. Next weekend is my husband and my birthday weekend and I hope to celebrate at least a new pound or two gone as my birthday present to me.

New Year's Resolution

2009-01-03T14:22:00.006-06:00

I haven't been very good about blog entries or steady eating over the holiday, but I'm coming out on the other side OK and in 2009 I'll be fine.

I'm at 232lbs which means that I've lost 79 pounds since March 2008.

Now that's something to celebrate!

We'll just ignore the little rollercoater weigh-ins over the last few weeks. I went up, down and all around in the 230s since November.

The 2009 New Year Resolution.

Now to start the new year I'm back at my lowest yet and ready for the last long haul. My goal this year is to reach my lifetime weight....now set at 132....which means I need to lose 100 pounds this year. This is very doable and well within the Weight Watchers "safety" rate of 2 to 2.5 pounds a week. My overall goal is 130 by my 50th birthday on Jan 28, 2010.

So buckle up we're in for a bumpy ride, but I'm getting to the destination.

Stayed Even this Week

2008-12-13T15:28:00.001-06:00

As with most weeks after a big loss, I stayed even this week. I'm doing it all right, so next week I should see a drop again.....

I've lost 77.4 pounds!

2008-12-06T15:04:00.003-06:00

Today I earned my 75 pound washer. It's been a tough last few weeks struggling through Thanksgiving as I worked toward 234 pounds. I'm so excited. It doesn't feel real. Although the clothes are loser than ever and the scale is reading lower, I just can't believe it. I'm pulling for the 100 pound washer now.

Post Turkey Day Weight In

2008-11-30T21:07:00.009-06:00

I gained two pounds over Thanksgiving week, but I had Thanksgiving at my house for the first time in years. Although I missed the bigger family, it was nice to get to play hostess. I'm truly thankful for my wonderful family and my new extended family members. I've lost 70 pounds this year, but more importantly I've gained new loved ones.
The week before Thanksgiving my weight watchers meeting did the paper plate exercise where you write down how many points each traditional Thanksgiving dish is worth. I really tried to stick to my "paper plate plan." I think my problem was the tasting part of the cooking and the leftovers. Um, maybe the beer and wine, too. Anyway, the holiday was worth the two points because I wanted a family day that was rich in tradition....points and love.

Almost 75 Pounds Lost

2008-11-22T20:32:00.002-06:00

So close, only .4 away from a 75 pound washer award. I lost 2.2 pounds this week and I know it could have been a lot more if I just would drink my water.
Of course, this week is the big turkey fest and I'm hanging on to my 35 points for the big day. I'm very proud of my husband. He was the biggest loser this week. He lost over 7 pounds. Good thing I love him, or I'd be jealous.

Below 240 Pounds!

2008-11-16T12:58:00.002-06:00

Thank goodness that this week I got back on track. I lost 5 pounds. After bouncing up and down for several weeks, I'm now at my lowest weight yet. 239 Pounds! Yea. I'm still planning on getting below 200 pounds by my birthday in late January....but I really happy that I'm just going in the right direction.
This week my husband joined weight watchers. He'd been thinking about it for a long time and I tried really hard not to push. It was his decision. He had his first meeting yesterday. I'm hoping that he finds the plan as easy and sensible as I do.
Changing our eating habits together will make it much less of a challenge. Better food in the house, not having to fix seperate meals for me, not eating out as much -- all of these things will help me. However, my problems usually don't have much to do with home. I usually fall off of the wagon on trips (business and fun) and at work or parties. Office bday parties are the source of much cake. I love cake, did I ever mention that.
Fixed a bday dinner for my daughters last night. My oldest daugther is a new vegetarian. I made a vegan bday cake. No trouble not eating that spongy thing. I was hoping for a lower point cake that I could eat occasionally, but those dreams flew out the window. Although we had roasted fall veggies, asparagus, and black bean burgers for us low point eaters and the vegetarian, we did have cordon bleu, wild rice and rolls for the regular eaters. The fun was that I hadn't fixed a dinner with the good china in a long time and I wanted to do something nice for the girls and their partners. I hadn't done that for their partners yet and they are so nice that I wanted to give them a special evening. Speaking of dinners....
Thanksgiving will be at my house this year and I'm looking forward to it. I haven't hosted Thanksgiving in over 10 years. Before I was married, my home was the Thanksgiving location for all of my friends without families. We had some crazy and fun times. One year I seriously underestimated the time to bake a goose and we were all completely drunk by the time the goose was cooked, so to speak. This year, I hope to add a few lower point dishes to the buffet that will help Bill and me enjoy the holiday while staying on our plan. There won't be any goose, but we're planning on turkey breast and Honey Baked Ham. Of course we'll have the yummy staples like stuffing, but we'll add some fall roasted veggies and clean salads.

Overall a wonderful weekend (although I have to work four hours today). The dinner for my beautiful daughters went well, I'm proud of my husband's endeavour, and I'm damn proud of my weight loss progress.

Gained a little, but OK

2008-11-09T17:40:00.002-06:00

I haven't weighed-in for several weeks, during which I traveled and vacationed. Haven't tracked my points, but I only gained 3 pounds. Not so bad. I'm back on my flex plan now and I hope to still get to 199 by my birthday. My computer has been down, so entries are difficult. Blah blah blah. Anyway, I'm back on track and I'm going to try to make regular posts. I'm still sticking to my WW points and I guess all of the good eating habits have helped me stay within a reasonable weight gain. To say that I've been eating badly, is really to say that I've been eating a lot better than I would have a year ago, but not as good as I would if I was really sticking to my plan. I'm trying to do better and hang in there a day at a time until I'm through a rought spot of stress at work. Motivation is getting really tough, but I'm working on it.

Still 70 Pounds Lost

2008-10-18T09:13:00.002-05:00

Well, I didn't lose anymore this week and after my big loss last week I'm not surprised. Seems to be the trend to waffle weight for two or three weeks and then lose a big amount. Just the body working through the weight loss process. This was a good week all around. A good review at work. A party at work where I ate some tasty food, but didn't go crazy. I baked a Red Velvet Cake for a party and had more than I should, but didn't eat the whole thing. Fixed a dish for a baby shower and nibbled while cooking, but didn't eat half the recipe. My big bad was not counting points this week.
Getting back on the point counting horse this week. At the meeting today, they reminded us that it's 10 weeks until Christmas. Forty-one pounds needs to come off of my butt before my birthday in January, so I've got to step it up until then.
A good quote from the meeting , "Nothing tastes as good as losing weight." I'm gonna think about that as I go through the holiday season parties. All the biggies are in the fall for my family: Halloween, Wedding Anniversary, Daughters' Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas.
At the meeting, I looked around and realized that only a handful of the people can say, "I've lost more than 70 pounds." Sometimes I get really down about how far I have to go, but other times it's nice to think of how far I've travelled.

I've lost 70 Pounds!

2008-10-11T08:18:00.003-05:00

Today's Weight Watchers weigh in was great! After gaining for two weeks in a row, I've dropped down 5.8 pounds to 241.2 pounds. There is so much more fat to lose, but it's great to see how much fat has been left befind.
Here's pic from one year ago at about 311 pounds and one today. OK, I didn't know how much the rolls of fat showed in the gray top, but I'm still a lot smaller than this time last year.

There's a lot of difference and not just the hair color. The ups and down of weekly weighing is so disturbing because heavy people vary by day because of water weight, digestion and, hell, probably the rotation of the earth. Every once in awhile it's nice to take a step back and look at the whole effort. When I started at 311 I had to lose 181 pounds, basically I needed to lose the fat person suffocating me. Now I still need to lose 111 lbs which is still an overwhelming number, but I can keep it in balance with the 70 pounds that I've already lost.
Weight Watchers has been the key to the loss this time. I'm sticking to the points flex plan which lets you adjust for plateaus and wide food choices. Counting points for every single item you put in your mouth is paramount. You eat too much - count it. Eat the "wrong" food - count it. Eat under your points -count it. Scary that I have written down all the food I've eaten since March, but it's helped me relearn in a way that nothing else could.

Rollercoasters

2008-10-04T18:08:00.007-05:00

Weighed in this morning and it is sad but true to say that I gained another pound. I've been eating wrong, but not crazy. I've been exercising so much more. Thought I was doing OK. It would be great if there were some great excuse, but there is always stress in every life and people don't stuff themselves to get past it.

My complaints and whiny excuses....Work has been hell = food for comforting anxiety. More exercising = food to calm the munchies. Tired = food to get quick energy boosts. More protein and milk in diet = food cravings for all naughty food out of control. Somehow, I lost a handle on eating in moderation and eating mostly good foods. Even now as I sit here typing, I'm thinking whether or not there are any little tasty treats in the kitchen that are only 1 or 2 points. I'm 1 pointing myself out of my weight losses.

Where to go? OK so now I need to realize that it's the 1 and 2 point treats that lead me a stray. I'm not buying anymore until I can be assured that I won't abuse them. Second, I need to keep more veggies prepped in the fridge for me, so when I get a crazy hunger attack I'll be prepared. Third, I've got to find other ways to deal with anxiety and tiredness. Last, I need realize all I've gained by losing and find my motivation again.

This morning I went to a Homecoming event at my college with my daughter who goes to my Alma mater. We spent all morning planting tulip bulbs. Was so wonderful to be able to get out and do things that require physical activity and be able to participate.

For a little more encouragement, we went shopping this afternoon and bought clothes from Old Navy. It was a two for $14.95 sale. Big people know that these kind of prices for clothes are like a magical Christmas morning. The same clothes in big sizes are twice the price on sale. We went from store to store and I was thrilled at how many places carry XL and XXL sizes for reasonable prices and in current styles. I'm living in a different world thanks to my dieting since March and I need to hold on to my progress and continue. The dream is to walk into any store and pick up a regular size and have it fit.

As we shopped, I thought about all the things that are different now. Yesterday at the hairdressers, I fit in the friggin chair without my thighs puffing out the sides. This week a friend and I walked a couple of blocks to a restaurant for lunch and I wasn't out of breath or sweaty. I'm planning three airplane trips in the coming months (some for work and some for pleasure), and not once have I had to worry about not fitting in the plane seat. My higher heal shoes are making guest appearances on my feet without twisting my ankles in pain. When I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I not longer look like Jabba the Hut in makeup. Last weekend, I did 13 hours at our amusement park with my family, fitting into the rides and walking all day. The very next day, I did 6 hours at the Renaissance Festival with my family. I NEVER could have done that this time last year. This time last year, I was 65 pounds heavier, getting over radiation treatment and not able to do much more than walk 50 feet.

So, every time I want a snack, I need to think of these things. Pictures on the fridge, force drinking water, etc. Just need to get back on track for a solid week, just need to get it back in control.

WTF Weigh in

2008-09-27T08:34:00.003-05:00

I gained 1.6 pounds this week and that is so crazy!! I've stuck to my points, exercised and now I have no idea. Well, maybe an idea. The same gal weighed me in who did my weight wrong a few weeks ago. However, I'll go with it and say that I gained the pound. Today my family going to Worlds of Fun and tomorrow the local Renaissance Festival, so fat will be coming off in the walking and heat. Oh well, I read on the Weight Watchers encouragement boards about fluctuations and how sometimes it's up and sometimes it's down, especially with people my size. But I'm still pissed. Ba.

Crunch that Cha cha cha

2008-09-25T21:16:00.007-05:00

A gal pal at work has been trying to get me to go exercise classes for a while. I'm lucky enough to have a "gym" at work that has a couple of staff trainers who offer classes. My friend has been hinting, suggesting, nudging and bullying me into going to some of the classes with her. Oh the excuses have been creative: I'm too tired from dieting, I wore the wrong shoes, I'm off balance with my glasses (wait till I wear my contacts), I need to lose a little more weight, whine, moan, have hissy fit. Then I found myself on this vast plateau where the weight stayed stubbornly at 250 lbs for a month. So, the classes seemed better than the current hell.

Being the sensible person I am, I looked at the classes before and after work. This way I don't have to clock in and out of work or take a shower in the middle of the day.....or make co-workers wear clothes pins on their noses for the rest of the day after my sweaty workouts. Step and Strength trainings were the only two options. The first week I accidentally stood up my friend by sleeping late. She did the strength training without me. Let's say fingers were pointed and I felt really little. So, like a truly chastised sinner, I showed up for the next class --- step. Now if you've read my blog before you know that I'm not atheletic. Make that -- I have never been any where near exercise.

Step, how hard can that be? I wore jeans. My hair was down. I wore work shoes. The leader had to stop the class twice to figure out where she was and she is supposed to be a wonderful expert. However, expertise can be overcome by a hysterically and hilariously bad student anytime.

Somewhere between the "across the top," "cha cha cha, reverse step mambo," and "abductors," I ended up faced the wrong way, on the wrong side of the step, and with my feet crossed. Step is some sort of Bob Fosse version of cheerleaders gone middle aged. The saddest (or sadist) fact is that I like it. Can't do it, but I want to. So, I'll be back next week and throwing everyone's rhythm off again. Strength training two days later was calming by comparison. The nicest thing of all is having a friend who encourages me to get off my butt.

So, baby cha cha cha.

Great Weigh In Thanks to WW Mobile

2008-09-20T13:20:00.008-05:00

My new best friend is Weight Watchers Mobile. After being on WW since March, I needed a new twist to keep me on track. Using my cell phone to track my daily points, look up restaurants and other food points is just the trick. Much easier than a written daily log (for me) and a new toy to incorporate into my eating routine.

I lost 1.6 pounds this week and now I'm at 245. I've descended the plateau by eating all my points and putting protein back in my meals. However, the whole dieting thing is getting tiring. Not tired of losing weight, heck, I've rescued several old pieces of clothes from boxes in my basement. I'm back into sizes 20 and 22, so the old professional wardrobe is making a reappearance. Thank goodness, I bought classic suits that are still in style....Well mostly, those shoulder pads are a little much.

You can get the WW Mobile by signing up on line. I have a monthly pass that I purchase on line that includes all of the online tools. If you're a computer geek, like me, then this is a good way to go. I also go to my weekly meetings....faithfully. I desperately need that reinforcement and support. Now my cell phone is a little tool, too.

Finally, Descending the Plateau!

2008-09-13T16:52:00.002-05:00

I lost 3.4 pounds this week. Thank Goodness. I'm now 246 pounds! Yea! I got off the plateau by going back and rethinking the plan. I added lots of protein (at least 1/2 of my daily points). I drank lots of water and got my oil. It was really tough to eat so much protein because I'd trained my body to not need it. However, sticking with the plan really works best.
To feel even better, I went shopping for new pants today. Size 22. Wow. Started my diet wearing 32s. Bought a new shirt...Size 18. Over all it was a wonderful day because I feel back on track and I got a little reward out of it, too.