50 Pound Down Milestones: Relay for Life and Vacation

Last night I participated in the Relay for Life walk in my area. My daughter is a team captain and set up dinner for my husband and me. When I started dieting one of my goals was to lose enough weight to walk the survivor mile with my family and without hard breathing and pooping out. We did that last night. I've lost 53 pounds as of today's weigh-in at my local Weight Watcher Center which is the other big goal I had for this month: get to 250 lbs to more enjoy my vacation in New Orleans. I'm at 258lbs and I'm calling that victorious. This is a pic of my family and me at 2008 Relay for Life. I'm the purple shirted person in front.

My family was there for me during the most difficult period in my life. Radiation and surgery aren't the toughest part of cancer... the fear and crazy emotions are the worst things to get under control. It's much easier to do that when you have a supportive clan surrounding you. In the hospital we laughed and joked. Each radiation treatment was more like a date because my husband went to all of the treatments with me. Lucky.

The Survivor mile walk was different this year because they had the survivors line up with the longest living survivors in the lead. Only the survivors walked the first half mile. Now, if you know me, then you know that I hate being the center of attention. As we walked people lined up on the sides clapped and cheered for us....I was just beside myself. As I chatted with a fellow walker, he told me about his 16 cancer surgeries and his single caretaker, his wife. As he spoke with me, he would occasionally stop talking to nod and thank the cheering crowd. Wow. Who was I to be selfish about not sharing my success with the other walkers and the supporters? The cheering group was made up of caretakers and fundraisers who fought the battle with and for us. I started thanking people too. I am a survivor, but surviving is not a lone adventure. We live supported by the people and community around us. I'm so lucky and thankful to be blessed with such a wonderful group around me.

At one point during the walk, the announcer told us to look ahead in the line and see the survivors who have struggled, fought and won the battle against cancer for many years. He reminded us that we would be there someday too.

The whole evening was very emotional. My daughter who set the whole thing up for my participation is one my strongest supporters. She like the others in my family suffered so much along me. But only a survivor understands the incredibly fearful part of being in a group like the Survivor Lap. We are survivors who, but for the grace of God, might have lost. Despite the care we may take of our bodies, the precautions against disease, and the fight against the diagnosis there is really no bottom line control over whether we live or die today or tomorrow. We survive each day and live it to the fullest -- enjoy the world and all the good people in it. We lean into the wind and hope the adversity holds us up. Needless to say, it was a very meaningful night for me.

Part of my leaning into the wind is losing weight. And I've lost 50 pounds on Weight Watchers as of today. I can move so much easier. Everything hurts less. Sleeping is more comfy. There is no understanding for a "never been fat" person to know how much better life is when so much weight is lost. There is a gal at the meeting who has lost 95 pounds. She is an inspiration, as much as the people at the head of the Survivor Lap.

This week my husband and I go to New Orleans. I've worked hard to enjoy this vacation--- and I'm ready to party. Can't wait to return and continue following in the footsteps of all the leaders in front of me. My next goal is 199 lbs by my birthday in January.

My deepest thanks to all those who support me as I fight cancer and food addiction. Bill, Kaycee, Katelyn and Keegan: I can't tell you how much I love you.

Below is video from Relay for Life that my husband took with his phone.

Another Weight Watchers Meeting

Today, Saturday morning to be exact, I went to another WW meeting at my local "store." I liked the leader so much more. He was positive and funny without being a stand-up comic. He seemed to really understand the needs involved in losing weight and keeping off over the long haul -- I believe that he had a lot of weight as opposed to under 50 pounds. Isn't that crazy, but when you'll fought against a huge amount of weight there is just some other motivation involved than just losing weight.

Anyway, he was good and the crowd was bigger and older people....like me. I've been in the dumps all week and really in a funk since my Wednesday meeting where the leader thought she was trying out for last comic standing. Again, I have to say that she is probably really popular, but I'm so relieved to find a leader more in sync with my needs. I felt a huge ugly cloud had been lifted off of my shoulders and out of my head.

I feel like I'm back on track. Although my weigh in wasn't official because it hadn't been a full week yet, I've lost almost 3 pounds since my last weigh in. Whew, that felt good too.

New Meeting Location

Well, well, well. I went to my first meeting at a location Weight Watchers meeting "store." It was weird not being at the meeting with all of my co-workers and getting used to a new crowd. I didn't lose any weight this week, but I'm chalking that up to weighing at a different time of the day. I used to weigh in the morning and never had breakfast on weigh day. Today I had breakfast and lunch and went to the meeting after work. So, I figure a pound or two is off and next week the weight loss will talley.

I'm sure that all weight watcher locations are different and I shouldn't compare, but of course that is exactly what I'm going to do.

The meeting started on a real downer for me because the overly animated leader spent the premeeting time chatting with a member about how when people have a lot of weight to lose, they always need plastic surgery to hack off the arm, leg or tummy flab. Hello? I'm sitting right here at 265lbs. I'll be losing over 150 lbs by the time I reach my goal and the sagging skin is something I try to keep in balance with the good points of losing weight. The whole body skin thing is a DE motivational conversation. Yes, I understand that I'll have to deal with it in more and more quanities. I already have plenty of sag just from the 46 pounds I've already lost. Thinking about what my body will look like at 100 or 150 pounds down makes me want to snarf a plate of cheesy poofs and fill out that flab. At least I would look firm. OK ok, I'm not going to do that, but I find people who only have 60 or 70 pounds to lose a real downers when they start putting down the larger people to make themselves feel good. Bitches. Not a good Weight Watchers experience.

However the good news is that this is a Weight Watchers "store" with many times and session leaders. I'll just try another time and work through my options until I find one that works for me. My WW at Work leader was just the type of gal I like. Friendly, encouraging and helpful...but not some crazy cartoon character who isn't sensitive to people of different sizes. The leader today was nice and friendly and I have to admit I laughed my butt off at some of her jokes and faces. She seemed very popular and packed a full house. I know that she works for a lot of people...maybe I just wouldn't have liked anybody different than my old leader.

Aside from the leader, the other thing that really threw me at the different location was the successes. Instead of saying how much people had lost this week, they announced what people had lost over all. For those of us who have a long way to go, this may get old. The entire meeting focused on setting and striving for small goals, yet the big goal and accomplishments were emphasized. I prize my weekly losses and those are the ones that I want shared. Those first pounds were easy, each week is the hard stuff. Maybe announcing the overall success is the normal way of doing it...

I guess that I'll find out next week.

Well this week my goal is still focusing on losing as much as I can before my New Orleans trip. Only two weeks and although I know that I won't hit 250lbs., I want to reach my 250s. I'm geared that this or next week I'll make it.

A Quarter of the Way There.......and all the way a Survivor....Results Not Typical.

Tracking my Weight Watchers at Work program.

Today was the last Weight Watchers at Work Session (the program is cancelled) and another good check up day at the oncologist's office.

I'm determined to stay on WWs because of my success. Now I understand the weekly meetings were the key to success because of the support and accountability. Many diets have have failed to do me any good. Either they started with a bang and ended with a fizzle or they never caught fire. There are so many life lessons that WW teaches. Indeed the idea is that you're learning a new way to live with a different attitude about food. I started at 311.8 pounds and today weighed in at 265 pounds for a 46.8 pound weight loss in only 16 weeks. My weight loss averaged 2.9 a week. I really wanted to try to get to 50 pounds by the end of the meetings, but I didn't want to stray from the plan and break the success. However, I achieved a significant goal. Being at 265 pounds means that I'm 1/4 of the way to my Goal Weight of 130 pounds.

Another great feeling today came at the surgical oncologist's office. During my last visit I weighed 302 pounds and now at 265 pounds I can say that I feel great. Not only is some weight absent, but there are still no evident signs of cancer. Going strong at my 14 month Survivor Anniversary, I'm gearing up to walk the Survivor Lap in two weeks at Relay for Life. Just a few months ago walking that Lap would have been a cause for fear of not being able to finish without gasping for air. Now I can proudly put my foot on the finish line. My daughter volunteers every year and organizes Relay for Life at her work place. I'm proud to be able to participate to show her my thanks for her support. My husband will walk the survivor lap with me and I won't have to lean on him to finish. This is my thank you to him for all of his support during those months when I leaned on him to take me to radiation everyday. Weight Watchers has given me this success too and I'm sure not giving it up.

Losing weight and fighting cancer - crazy to say this, but I don't know which is harder. Weight is a challenge you choose and it doesn't have the fear factor of cancer. Cancer is damned scary and it taught me to keep on going as if there is no choice to stop. I think this is something I transferred to my weight loss challenge. During my Weight Watchers program several plateaus had to be crossed and many tests to practice new food skills were passed. Holidays, birthdays and food events gave me plenty of opportunities to fall off of the WW flex plan, but by golly the plan flexed enough to fit in real life and still lose weight. No small triumph. My meeting leader is a great gal who really did a good job of encouraging while staying positive and teaching without guilt. I'll miss her -- if I can't figure out how to get to her meetings.

The WW plan includes never being hungry, eating wisely, and enjoying the foods you like without excess. Without a doubt the biggest success for me was learning to eat out regularly while eating sensibly. I am sad to leave my co-workers who dieted with me and perhaps we'll be able to work out a new way to have WW meetings together. However, I was really scared after my last meeting today. A silly fear that the weight would balloon my butt in just minutes. Buying the Monthly Pass online has helped me deal and I'm continuing to journal my points. With my Monthly Pass I can go to any participating location and I get to continue my e-tools where I get additional online support. Once I've visited a local meeting place and decided to get back into a weekly routine meeting, I believe the fear of dieting without a net will subside. My 250 goal for my end of July New Orleans trip is still real though the weight loss has slowed in the last month. At 265, I'd be pleased, but surprised to reach 250 in just three weeks. It certainly wouldn't be "typical" ....





The charts chronicle my weight loss over the last 16 weeks in the Weight Watchers at Work program.