Getting caught up!

It’s been over a year since I posted to this blog. I guess overweightiness is no longer my biggest issue, but it is important. During April of 2007 I was diagnosed with a type of cancer, adenosarcoma of the uterus. It was a summer of surgery and radiation therapy and now six months later I have no evident signs of disease. Needless to say I was off of work for a long time and worked from home for an even longer time. Before I was diagnosed, I graduated from Grad School with my MA in Legal Studies. So, now I’m just back to work and my family, but with a "take life and enjoy it every minute" attitude.

I actually feel better than I have in years. Better physically and mentally. Nothing to get your priorities straight like Stage II cancer. I value every moment with the ones I love and I’m trying to give them more support than ever. Both my daughters are back in college, the 19 year old for the first time. The house can stay a little dirtier as long as I have time with my husband during the week. The dishes can wait until Saturday. In the past, that would have been grounds for a major freak out. My husband went to every single treatment with me. He slept beside me in the hospital.


And throughout my surgery and treatments, my weight stayed down about 30 pounds. Sometimes the weight was dipping a little lower because of the painful diarrhea with radiation treatment. Normally, people lose a lot more weight than I did, but during treatment you want to keep your weight steady so that your body can heal. Maybe in some weird karmic play, I was supposed to keep my weight up last year. Who knows? I was able to eat bland foods and make it through the daily radiation treatments for two and half months with a modest amount of illness. I was tired like a limp noodle and always with cramping in the evenings after the treatments. However, with the support of my family, co-workers, and not least of all, my doctors, I’m back to full speed.

I’m struggling now with lymphedema in my right leg because my lymph nodes were removed during my cancer surgery. No cancer had spread to the lymph nodes, but because my cancer was Stage II adenosarcoma there was a chance that it had spread to the lymph system. Luckily, it had not. However, now my right leg, ankle and foot swell everyday to humongous proportions. Though always overweight, I was blessed with small hands and feet -- Size 7 ½ shoe and matching ankles. Well the hands are still small, but my right ankle swells to the size of cantaloupe by bed time. It would be funny if --- well OK it does look funny. I don’t have pain and elevating it makes little difference. It only just this month started to swell so much…..six months after surgery. The doctors order a ultra-sound to check for blood clots, and again, God(ess) smiled on me, and there was no blood clot. I have lymphedema. So, I thought that I would try to drink more liquids, exercise and lose some weight. I’m not aiming to be a skinny minny anymore, but I do have some goals and thoughts about losing weight. Here they are:

I want to enjoy my life and starving myself or denying myself yummy food is not going to happen.
I don’t want to obsess with dieting, just change my eating habits a little.
If I ever have to have surgery again, I want to weigh less so that moving and caring for me is not as much of a burden as it was last summer.
Try to eat more non-acidic foods such as green rabbit veggies, drink more water and generally aim for a healthier balance in my body.
Get more exercise, and to this end I have signed up to walk a mile on my office’s Corporate Challenge team in May. Better start walking now. I also want to walk the Survivor one mile lap at the next Relay for Life night in May. My daughter did the “all night thing” last time for me and lit a candle for me. She’s done Relay for Life for years, but this last spring, it was a more intense.
And last, maybe I can get this damned edema to go down so I can enjoy my shoes again. Now all overweight people understand that the whole world of fashionable clothes is a challenge, but many fatties like me are blessed by still being able to indulge in cute purses, handbags, hats and gloves. I love shoes and I miss my cutie shoes!!!! I’m also afraid that soon I’ll have to buy two pair to get two sizes - A left 7 ½ and a right cantaloupe size. Can’t afford that!

So, there it is. That’s where I’ve been and now I’m going to try to keep this site up. I clicked on all my favorite links and I can’t find Fat Bitch. Does anyone know what happened to her?

The theme of this blog has shifted from fat focus to life loving, but still I’ll be sharing my dieting adventures.

100 Reasons to Lose Weight

If you're 100lbs. overweight (or more) like I am, then none of these are a surprise to you. However, seeing them all listed in one place is astounding.

1. To feel good about ourselves.
2. To have GREAT sex!
3. So we won't think people are laughing or talking about us.
4. To buy clothes in a normal store and actually get clothes with some style to them that fit correctly.
5. To have more energy!
6. To be able to tie your shoes/paint toenails.
7. To be able to sit on a floor and get up gracefully.
8. To wear a bathing suit.
9. To cross your legs or sit Indian style.
10. To fit into an airline/theatre/bus/whatever seat without spilling over and without having to see "that look" from the person who has to sit beside you.
11. So our ankles won't swell.
12. To fit into a booth at any restaurant.
13. To not need an extension to a seat belt on an airplane and to have the tray table not balance on our bellies.
14. To not worry about being decapitated in our cars with our seat belts on if we should be in an accident.
15. To not turn beet red after moderate exertion.
16. To be able to pick something up off the floor.
17. Panty Hose that fit!
18. To go to an amusement park and ride the rides.
19. To be able to sit in any chair without worry of breakage.
20. To not have to apologize when caught in a narrow aisle and have someone need to get by.
21. To go dancing, sky diving, bungee jumping....
22. To be able to go horseback riding or ride a bike.
23. To not worry about rashes and sweating.
24. To not have to listen to "caring" people ask why you don't diet or worse still... "gee youhave such a pretty face".
25. To not worry about spilling food, sauces or gravy down the front of your blouse/dress/shirt when eating.
26. To not have to think up some excuse for not doing something because you know your weight will impede you.
27. To not have your belly hit the steering wheel and to be able to fit comfortably in the driver's seat.
28. To have a bra fit comfortably and to be able to buy underwear at Victoria's Secret rather than at "Tubby the Underwear Guy".
29. To not have to worry about the weight limit of step stools, ladders, motorcycle, exercise equipment, etc.
30. To not get stuck in a turn style.
31. To not wake up feeling achy in the back..or to have ache free legs and feet.
32. So the bathroom scale won't creak and groan when you step on it.
33. To be able to leave the tablecloth on the table at a restaurant instead of dragging it with you when you get up.
34. So you won't look the other way when you see yourself in a monitor where they have security cameras.
35. To never be embarrassed about your size.
36. To not count tying shoes as daily exercise.
37. To not have to wait for the handicap stall when there are plenty of other stalls available.
38. To not be more out of shape than seniors.
39. To not break toilet seat when leaning to one side.
40. To be able to put on wedding rings again.
41. To try to make a double chin and fail!
42. Buy clothing bargains to fit the next year ... and they do!
43. Not to have to worry about plastic zippers or having your pants bust open.
44.Normal waistbands rather than elastic!
45. To wear knee socks correctly instead of worn like slouches!
46.To look good in a tee shirt!
47. To try on slacks or jeans and have the pant leg actually fit over leg!
48.To be able to get close to sink and not come away with a wet belly!
49.To get out of a stuffed chair GRACEFULLY and not look down to see if the chair has come up with you!
50. To not worry if the hairdresser's smock will fit!
51. To not be self-conscious about eating in front of others!
52. To not be afraid to ask which hairstyle suits your face.
53. To not have people checking you out after looking in your grocery cart.
54. To not feel (and look) like a sausage in stirrup pants.
55. To have your friends NOT be embarrassed to be seen with you.
56. To get promotions/hired or close that sale.
57. Pants that stay up because your waist is smaller than your butt!
58. No more boobs! (this is for the guys!)
59. Wearing shorts or tank tops without fear of arrest or grossing out others!
60. To not have the fear of being rejected.
61. To successfully flirt!
62. To not worry about how to get in and out of the back seat in a two door car!
63. One size fits all and it fits you!
64.To have a lap.
65. To not have the car you are ride in slant in your direction.
66.To be able to use toilet paper as it was meant to be used and not to have to invent ways to "get the job done".
67. To not have to watch TV news reports on fat people in hopes that you haven't been caught on camera!
68.To be able to get between cars in a parking lot without wiping the dust off with your belly and your butt.
69.No more heat rashes and chafing in the upper thighs.
70. So that the cloth in the thigh area doesn't wear away long before the rest of the slacks do!
71. To meet a friend online and not be horrified to have to send a picture of yourself.
72. To not take fat references and fat jokes personally.
73. To know you can go anywhere because wherever you sit you CAN be comfortable and look at ease.
74. To shop at the mall and not have your back ache from lugging your huge butt and stomach around!
75. To be able to stand still, carrying nothing and still look poised.
76. To be able to cross your arms across your chest without them resting on your stomach!
77. To have your feet get smaller.
78. Using your mouth to taste and chew food rather than as just a route to get the food from your lips to your stomach.
79. Blood pressure returns to normal.
80. To avoid other health complications from being overweight.
81. To be able to borrow a co-worker's jacket for an important meeting.
82. To meet someone for the first time and their eyes don't pop out of their head with amazement...because they never knew you're fat!
83. To see your reflection in a mirror or store window without turning away!
84.To wear a watch with a regular length watch band.
85. To look in the mirror when getting your hair cut without thinking you have the biggest face in the world.
86.To not mind getting your picture taken.
87. To not avoid going to the doctor because you have to get "weighed" in.
88.To wake up each morning feeling energized and ready to go.
89.To not even worry about squeezing into small spaces.
90. To not have to enter an elevator and check the weight limit.
91. To look in your closet and have problems deciding which stylish outfit to work since you have so many that look good and fit well.
92. To not have to lie perfectly still in bed at night for fear of breaking the bed!
93. To buy tie shoes instead of slip ons!
94.To be able to walk any distance without looking for a bench to sit on.
95. To look forward to shopping and just trying on clothes!
96.To be able to drive by any fast food place without salivating!
97. To be able to shop at the same store for food instead of having to remember where you shopped last night for the junk food so you can avoid that store for a few days!
98.To not feel lower than low when an innocent child remarks about your size!
99.To not constantly be thinking of where your next morsel of food is coming from.
100. And the 100th reason to lose 100 pounds..... You're worth it.
--Unknown